Reparenting as Presence
Beyond Seeking, Into Being
“What you are is intrinsically aligned with the very nature of what you are trying to understand. This alignment grants you the ability to comprehend it” – Peter Brown (The Yoga of Radiant Presence)
Reparenting as Presence is an embodied, experiential pointing as the right conditions for activating and facilitating the process of transmutation and the self-revealing of the underlying qualities (needs) which we seek.
Given that transmutation is a process that already takes place, knowledge and skills in its facilitation are focused on knowing what to look into and how to look into it without trying to fix or change experience. Within the Reparenting as Presence model is a dynamism of these right conditions as the true nature of experience. Through pointing to and being these right conditions – we release our distortions, and reveal our true seeing of presence as it actually is as opposed to what we have been told it is, and what we are. This paves the way, through the cessation of seeking, into a deepening of being embodied presence – being the direct experience of the undivided self.
The seeing is the revealing. Through the frame of Reparenting as Presence, the natural intelligence of transmutation is followed through ‘how to see’ in Compassionate Attunement. Life naturally creates with the functionality of its own self revealing, simply because self-revealing is its nature.
The core principles of Compassionate Attunement are:
- Dynamic Wholeness
- Immediate Indefinability
- Unceasing Availability
- Responsive Radiance
- Effortless Equanimity
- Alert Awareness and
- Flawless Flow.
These principles facilitate in two key ways. They point to the actual nature of experience beyond the misperception and misinterpretation of separateness, whilst also being the nature of the ultimate parent for a child that is struggling – feeling lost, alone, and afraid. The child, in this case, is the experience of the seeking mind that is arising out of the misinterpretation of separateness and associated complex human conditioning.
The model also works through recognising, in addition to the core needs and qualities of wholeness related to our specific seeking styles, core qualities that are supportive of right conditions for deepening into presence and naturally deconstructing the built world in mind (the sense of separation). These core qualities are pointed to in recognition of what is needed to be revealed to support embodiment and are illuminated from both a trauma and attachment focused perspective around human development and healing. For example, we can work within conditions of playfulness as these are the best conditions for the ‘child mind’ to open into curiosity- this which is needed to see beyond our beliefs about reality. We also introduce qualities such as innocence and purity through our understanding of how experiences of shame, blame, and guilt are released as our true nature is revealed. We also work with qualities such as freedom and safety as master qualities that actually work in precise synergy but are commonly considered to not be able to co-exist through our cultural conditioning and either/or thinking.
True transmutation occurs when we see through the illusions that obscure our direct experience of what we truly are. These illusions arise from our patterns of seeking – the habitual attempts to find fulfillment through meeting our core needs outside ourselves, in transient experiences that provide no stability. Through the Reparenting as Presence approach to transmutation we begin to see that this seeking is rooted in a misunderstanding of the nature of reality and in simply opening to seeing, the illusory constructs within which we feel confined naturally release, revealing the true source of our core need as the underlying and essential nature of reality – what we really are beyond illusory fear driven identity structures.
What is transmuted is the perception of separation and lack as the unchanging ground of life is revealed – the true, ever stable undivided Self. This simultaneously gives way to the direct experience of wholeness and unity. The seeking patterns, born from the core assumption of a divided self, melt and soften in the space of clarity, compassion, freedom, safety, and truth. As we come to see through these patterns, we uncover the deeper truth of the core qualities of authenticity, belonging, worth, sovereignty, wisdom, and love in the seat of radical freedom and safety. No longer experiencing life as someone that needs to be fixed through attainment – we are resting as the eternal and unchanging essence that underlies all changing states and appearances.
This insight into the Self requires a gentle approach of self-compassion and truthfulness in the space of perceived safety and grounding. The space of compassion allows us to meet our seeking patterns with patience and understanding, while clarity and right understanding brings us closer to recognising that the Self is not something we need to chase or acquire at some point in the future. We are deeply rooted in presence where we recognise that what we truly seek is not hidden from us; it simply requires that we adopt an open and sincere curiosity about the truth of our own being and naturally embody this with ever increasing subtlety and refinement. Everything we need is already available and accessible in the moment we cease to seek it. This is the revealing at the heart of the process of transmutation.
Thus, transmutation is not a transformation of the Self, but a revealing of it. It is the process of shifting from the illusion of seeking to the realisation of what is already here, always present, and unchanging. Through this understanding, we are no longer bound by our patterns of seeking, and instead, we rest in the radiant presence of embodied wholeness.
